At the time of this writing, The Stork has been funded for $1310, which is $210 above the goal. I am overjoyed and humbled and astonished by all of the support from friends and strangers alike.
But when it was only funded for $500, I felt the dread coming on. I worried that things wouldn’t work out and I’d let all these people down. I imagined all the sympathetic looks and the “ah, well at least you tried”s. I made up all kinds of things about what it might mean if the project didn’t get funded.
Then I recalled something someone said in a blog post a few weeks back. Excuse me, what I said in a blog post. About acting like it is a done deal and not giving up. A lot of things I write are directed at myself as much as they are towards other people. It is like having an emotional savings account to fall back on during rough patches.
So I decided that $500 was nearly halfway there. I decided that there was plenty of time and lots of people were just going to contribute later. I decided that someone was waiting until the right moment to make a dramatic contribution. As it turned out, all of these things were true.
I want to be less afraid. I want to trust any process I have set in motion. I want to have more faith in myself and in other people. It is happening, step by step, with the occasional explosion of wings unfurling.